Mindset Nugget: Shifting Shame into Love
Recently I was reminded that our biography really does affect our biology. Basically, any unresolved traumas or emotions we’re still carrying around will eventually show up in some way, whether it’s through mental health struggles, physical pain, or even illness. It’s like the mind’s way of waving a big flag and saying, “Hey, could we please deal with this? I’m ready to let go!” As someone who’s big on self-development, I want to share a few golden nuggets I picked up at a recent workshop I attended with my mindset coach. The topic? How to Rise Above Shame.
First things first, we had to understand what shame is all about and why we hold onto it. Here are a few reasons:
The mind (or ego) craves importance. Sometimes, it’ll even create negative attention just to feel like it matters, because hey, even bad attention is better than no attention, right?
Shame loves to keep us stuck in the cycle of comparing ourselves to others, making us feel ‘less than’ or ‘not good enough.’
It keeps us small as a way to protect us. After all, what might happen if we got too big for our boots?
To turn shame into self-love, we need to get curious and question those old feelings of inadequacy with an open and less judgmental mind. It’s about challenging the thoughts instead of just accepting them as our truth. And trust me, this isn’t easy to do solo—your mind is a master at hiding things to keep you safe! It’ll say things like, “You’re only worth this much because of that,” dismissing your inherent value as a person. We then seek external validation, which never really fixes the core issue. You might even start feeling shame about feeling shame—layering more unnecessary suffering on top!
Here’s the tricky thing about shame: it can lead to habits that hold us back from growth. But (and this is a big ‘but’) it can also be the catalyst for growth.
During the workshop, we flipped the script on shame, starting to see it from a more positive angle. Here’s how shame can actually help us:
GROWTH – Shame, when linked to our moral or ethical standards, can act as a signal that we’ve strayed from our values. It makes us reflect, and that self-awareness is essential for personal growth.
ACCOUNTABILITY – Feeling shame after a mistake can encourage us to take responsibility and do better next time. It’s a way to strengthen our integrity and honesty.
CHANGE – If shame comes from realizing we need to improve or realign with our core values, it can be a powerful motivator for positive change.
EMPATHY – People who’ve experienced shame are often better at understanding others’ emotional pain. This shared experience can make us more compassionate and empathetic toward others.
EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE – Learning to rise above shame helps us build emotional resilience. By working through it, we become stronger and more equipped to handle future challenges.
These are just a few ways to start seeing shame differently. If you’ve been struggling with anything, don’t go through it alone. Book a complimentary discovery call using the button below, and let’s see if we can shift things together.