Mindset Nugget: Mind your language

Isn't it wild how hard we can be on ourselves? And what's crazier is that some of us don't even realise just how harsh our inner dialogue can get! I’ll admit, this is something that I’m still working on, and it's definitely a journey. It all ties back to how we were raised and what our perception of how our parents/caregivers spoke to and cared for us.

For me, I've noticed that I really pile the pressure on myself whenever I take time off to recharge. I catch myself thinking things like “I need to” or “I must” an awful lot, and I wonder if it’s something I picked up from my parents. Talk about loaded phrases! When we’re constantly putting ourselves under that kind of stress, it’s no wonder we get overwhelmed. And guess what? When we’re overwhelmed, part of our brains shut down! In neural terms the prefrontal cortex shuts down and the amygdala can hijack the show inducing mental paralysis and panic. Productivity? Creativity? Gone. The brain’s gone from logical problem solving mode straight into survival mode. This means that even the simplest decision feels impossible!

Looking back, I remember how my parents always seemed to be rushing around, working hard. Maybe that's where this guilt comes from when we try to rest. But honestly, rest and finding ways to down regulate our nervous system is the most important thing we can do for ourselves, and yet we struggle to embrace it!

Recently, I put together a quick 20-minute webinar on how to stop self-sabotaging, and one of the big takeaways was becoming aware of the language we use when we talk to ourselves. Catching ourselves when we are being horrible to ourselves and consciously  choosing to speak to ourselves in a more compassionate and inviting way. Like all things that are worth it, it takes some effort and practice but it’s sooooo worth it!

Lists of Self-Sabotaging Language vs Supportive Language